Yep. This is my phone.
My roller derby-related posts have been lacking lately to say the least. Rather than spend an hour catching you up, I’ll be succinct. The Wrecking Dolls won their last two games, defeating the previously undefeated Bitch Doctors, and reigning supremely victorious over the Slumber Party Slashers. Where does that put us? Smack in the middle of the Steel City Derby Demon’s 2008 Season Championship!
Tonight, we are holding a pep rally at our favorite local dive, Belvedere’s. Beings that we are the so-called blue collar baronesses of Pittsburgh derby, it’s highly appropriate that we’re gathering at the beginning of Labor Day weekend. It kindof makes me giggle. I can’t wait! So if you’re looking for something to do in…oh…say…2-3 hours, tumble down the hill to Butler St. and hit the dance floor with us. Woo!
Admittedly, I don’t often blog about things that matter. My posts are charmingly superficial, due to a lack of time or energy to write about anything that requires actual thought.
That said, animals are something that I’m very passionate about, even in my most apathetic times. It is incomprehensible to me that people consistently abandon their connection with animals and nature at the age of 12. In our culture, growing up means making those disconnections so that indulgence and profit can be made with a clear conscience. The examples are clear to anyone willing to see them- factory farms, sport hunting, and the “pet” industry. People tailor their ethics to align with their habits. It’s not at all uncommon for a person to value their cats and dogs above…well…themselves, but at the same time eat meat like it’s going out of style. I’ve heard every argument. Did you know that some people think certain animals can’t feel pain? Others say that our pets are smarter than the animals we eat, when in reality the differences between the cognitive abilities of cats, dogs, cows and pigs aren’t so great. In fact, pigs might be the smartest and most trainable of the bunch. My point is this: animals should not be commodities. We cannot choose to love some and abuse and torture others, based on…habit. When you put it that way, the commodification of animals doesn’t sound so different from…slavery.
The point in me writing this post at this particular time is that the East End of Pittsburgh recently became home to a Petland. Petland is known to buy their animals from brokers, who often deal with abusive breeders and puppy mills. To top it off, none of their animals are spayed or neutered, and they do not screen their customers. This is an invitation for animal abuse, abandonment, and overpopulation. Having worked with animal rescue and advocacy groups in the past, I can say first hand that there are thousands, if not tens of thousands of feral cats living in the streets, backyards, junkpiles, and hillsides of Pittsburgh. This is what happens when people do not spay and neuter their animal companions. Furthermore, there are plenty of adoptable animals in overburdened shelters, waiting for a good home. In fact, this Petland has situated itself offensively close to one of Pittsburgh’s best shelters, The Animal Rescue League. You can also check out local kitties being fostered by Voices for Animals of Western PA on Petfinder.com. My cats Simon & Basil both came from VFA’s effort to spay and neuter feral cats around Pittsburgh.
Basil
Simon
If you want more information on the Petland issue, please go to http://pghpetlandprotest.wordpress.com/
Dear World,
I want this. http://www.queenbee-creations.com
My garden is growing!
I am a Wrecking Doll! More on this later…
Validation. After months of practicing, and over a year of daydreaming, I will soon be a real derby girl with a real team. Myself and my fellow fresh meaties scrimmaged for an hour last night, giving veteran members of the league a chance to evaluate skills like endurance, hitting, and speed control. To my great delight, I passed the test with flying colors! In order to really grasp how exciting this is for me, you have to understand that I am notorious for dreaming up new hobbies, only to lose interest almost immediately. Sticking with this- actually following through on something that takes so much time and energy- it’s an achievement for me.
I can’t wait to hear the results of the draft on Tuesday! xoxox
Meet my newest love. I’ve been wanting this tattoo for years. Literally years.
For those who are not botanically inclined, it’s a Peony. My parents have them in their backyard, and I’ve adored the fluffy pink flowers forever.
Thanks to Josh Mason at Old Soul Tattoo in Canonsburg for the job well done.
Dear Blogosphere,
I chose my derby name. Auntie Establishment. While some southerners may think this a stretch, here in the Mid-Atlantic region, we pronounce Auntie, like “ant-eee”. Believe me. It works.
XOXO
Kudos to John Cihon for the awesome bout recap!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Doctors Defeat Slashers: Same As It Never Was
by John Cihon
Saturday night the Steel City Derby Demons, Pittsburgh’s female roller derby league and members of the Woman’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), staged their April event ‘Shove They Neighbor!’ between the 2007 league champions Bitch Doctors and Slumber Party Slashers. Before the event, the Bitch Doctors had never lost a contest, having gone undefeated in the Demons’ inaugural 2007 season. The Slashers had never won one. After the event, neither the Doctors’ nor the Slashers’ win percentage had changed. But what took place during the match tested the Doctors harder than they’ve ever been tested.
Prior to the match, Slasher co-captain Miss Ill told me that the Bitch Doctors were the last team that the Slashers played during the 2007 season, and they were looking forward to the rematch for a chance to show the Doctors that things weren’t going to be the same as last season.
Despite past successes, the Doctors weren’t resting and demonstrated that they were ready to go to work defending their title, as exemplified by the brown work shirts they wore as they took to the rink for player introductions. As each skater was individually introduced, the brown shirts came off to reveal their red and black uniforms underneath. Despite being sidelined from the match due to prior injury, that didn’t stop Hurricane Heather from painting a skull on her face to look extra menacing during the player introductions. The Slumber Party Slashers took to the rink wearing lavender uniforms.
Shortly after the first period started, Betty Bonecrusher of the Slashers drew the first penalty of the match after causing a three-girl pileup. The score remained close, early on, with both teams exhibiting strong defenses that kept the other from ever amassing a large number of points in any one jam. Athena was a key defensive player for the Doctors, although her aggressive defense also acquired a fair share of penalties. At about the fourteen minute mark, the Crippler, who was on loan to the Doctors from the Hot Metal Hellions due to Doctor injuries, was able to pull ahead and score fourteen points in her turn at jammer, leaving the score at Doctors 44, Slashers 24. The Slumber Party Slashers, however, remained in the game and slowly cut the Doctors’ lead as the half wore on. The period ended with a strong turn at jammer by Slasher Attaxl Rose, who scored five points and left the score at Doctors 63, Slashers 52 at the half. Despite a Bitch Doctors lead, the Slumber Party Slashers remained confidently in the games, having confined the Doctors to their lowest-ever halftime lead.
During the halftime, the crowd was entertained by an event introduced as the way Steel City Derby Demons spend their free time when they’re not participating in roller derby: no rules, no holds barred musical chairs on roller skates. After multiple fights over chairs, the games ended with Jess of the Fresh Meat Squad, the Demons’ newest skaters who are not yet on a team, as the champion.
Five minutes into the second period, Bekkie MK-Ultra was at jammer for the Slashers when she was pushed out by a combination of three girls. While attempting to stop herself from going into the crowd, she bent her foot back and fell down. The match was stopped and the clock reset while MK-Ultra was transported out of the building and to the emergency room. Although it initially appeared to onlookers that her ankle was broken, the eventual diagnosis was only a severe sprain. While MK-Ultra won’t be skating for a while, she appears to be undeterred and eager to make a comeback. She wrote in her blog, “I might not be on skates for awhile but I am not going to let this keep me from coming back and killing anyone who ever tries to knock me down again.” MK-Ultra’s injury seemed to rally the Slashers, who pulled ahead at the twenty minute mark after strong offensive showings by both Attaxl Rose and Cheeseburger to gain the first-ever lead any team has ever had on the Bitch Doctors with the score at Slashers 73, Doctors 68. The score remained close after that until a penalty sidelined the Slashers’ jammer with five minutes left, giving the borrowed Crippler the opportunity to score nine points for the Doctors and leaving the score at Doctors 109, Slashers 97. Shortly after that Slashers captain Damage Dahl drew her fourth minor penalty, and was sent to the penalty box by the penalty box referee, while the jam referee told her to stay out, as the Slashers had three skaters in the box at that point, and by rule, no more than three skaters from one team can be in the box at any given point. Dahl was eventually sent to the box and later stated, “The Crowd-they’re like what’s going on, and your emotions are charged. . . You want to rip your hair out.” After that, the Slashers simply didn’t have enough time to comeback, and the games closed with the Bitch Doctors adding another win to their total and the score at Doctors 124, Slashers 101.
Bitch Doctors co-captain Double Destroyers minimized her team’s league dominance thus far, stating, “This years it’s anybodies game, each of the four teams have changed in different ways since last year.” Captain Dresta Kill added, “Every game is going to be pretty much anybodies game this year.” When asked about plans going forward into the season, Kill stated that she simply wanted everybody on her team to get healthy, as injuries had made not only her inactive, but as well, Hurricane Heather, Helen Fire, and Miss Managed Anger. Besides the Crippler, the Doctors had borrowed Ally McKill from the Wrecking Dolls to fill out their roster that night, although McKill remained inactive on the bench.
